Imagine if your friend asked if they could bring a friend over to your house. This friend of your friend barges in and immediately starts inspecting every thing you own. They open your cabinets, rummage through your fridge, jump on your bed, then go dig a hole in your yard. After that they track mud in and lay down on your couch, kicking their dirty feet up on your favorite pillow. By this point you have served food and it looks good to your new houseguest, so they reach over and grab a bite right off your plate. Meanwhile your friend is oblivious. They have a close relationship with this person and aren’t really paying attention. In fact, they assume you must like them as much as they do!
I don’t usually let people bring their dogs to my house, but this describes a porch visit this week when a friend of a friend brought her dog over. This behavior is slightly more acceptable from a dog than a human, but still rude and ultimately unnecessary.
If you want your dog to get an invite back to your friend’s houses, be sure you have covered the following skillsets at home before you venture into new environments.
Pay attention to your dog
Your dog is your responsibility. As part of our training we teach owners to be subtly tuned into their dog at all times. Just like checking your blind spot before changing lanes is an ingrained habit, checking on your dog when they are off leash in a new environment - even a fenced one - should become a habit to the tune of a glace every few seconds, especially for the first hour you are there. I recommend bringing your dog over on leash and keeping them on leash until they have time to acclimate to the environment and calm down. Then watch as they start to explore, checking in with them and maintaining the good boundaries you have at home. A light "eh-eh" command in time is worth 100 loud ’"No’"s too late.
Stay off the furniture
We teach the ‘off’ command as part of our basic training and ask that dogs stay off the furniture for a period of time. Not only does staying off the furniture change the way our dogs view our relationship dynamic and help them listen better, but we are laying the foundation for an important skill: the ability to stay off furniture when asked. This is because at some point in your dogs’ life they will encounter a couch they need to stay off of. If you can’t keep your dog off the furniture at home, you won’t be able to in a new environment. We recommend setting boundaries around your couch and bed, only letting your dog up when invited and only if they get down promptly and willingly with one "off.”
Avoid human food
We don’t recommend feeding table scraps to dogs because it creates an unhealthy association that can lead to problematic behaviors including begging and stealing food off the table. You don’t want everyone present to have to guard their plate or be mindful of where they leave food because your dog can’t help themselves from stealing it. At home keep your dog out of your space while you eat and don’t build an association between you eating and them getting a bite.
Respect personal space
We teach that your personal space bubble is about the length of your wingspan. Put your arm straight out from the shoulder and imagine a line going down to the floor around you. That is your bubble! We ask that dogs stay out of this bubble unless they are invited in. The reason we ask owners to be mindful of enforcing this boundary with their dogs at home is so dogs default to it when meeting new people and dogs. You don’t want your dog to be jumping on people, climbing into their laps, squeezing next to them on furniture or putting their dirty paws up on people’s legs. Help your dog to understand barging into people’s space is off limits with you and everyone.
Respect property
Let’s start with no digging and add no destroying things, dog toys or otherwise.
As a dog trainer, I am very picky with which dogs come over to my house. On walks I prefer to take the leash from my friends, finding it easier to work with a dog than watch my friend halfheartedly fumble through cues and commands. At home I like to relax.
The reason I prefer to not have dogs at my house is that most owners don’t have options with their dog and that is one of the most important things we teach our clients.
I want the option of keeping my dog off the furniture in case I go to someone’s house who prefers dogs stay off the couch. I want the option of keeping my dog near me instead of running around. I definitely need to stay tuned in enough to my dog so they don’t dig or steal food. I want a dog who doesn’t embarrass me or stress out my host, or, worst of all, destroy anything.
In order to be a good houseguest, make sure your dog can do the following:
-Enter new places calmly
-Potty before entering
-Politely greet humans
-Be respectful to other pets in the house
-Sit on leash inside with distractions
-Stay off the furniture
-Respond with alacrity to ’no’ or ‘off’ commands
-Be around food without counter surfing, begging, or stealing off plates or out of hands (seriously!)
-Not dig or bark in the yard