The reasons people DON'T sign up for dog training

Everyone thinks of the training journey as the one that begins at the first session, but there is another, perhaps more important journey that we all must go on: the journey from inaction to action, when we decide the benefits will outweigh the costs, both financially as well as in the effort to find a trainer and make the changes they suggest. 

1. “I don’t have the time” / “It takes too much time” 

You’re already so busy...but if you are struggling with your dog regularly, how much time is that costing you? 

You are already putting a lot of time into your dog. Time cuddling, posing them for photos, playing in the yard, or running their instagram account. Time struggling on walks. Time stressing about how they will react to dogs or new stimuli. Time walking them before you go to meet your friends at the park without them because they will be unmanageable and you won’t be able to enjoy yourself.

Some positive reinforcement trainers will tell you to practice a trick routine for 20 minutes twice a day. While drilling commands is one way of approaching training, I have found that people often don’t put in the time it takes to create a truly ingrained response using treats. Instead, my training approach involves understanding your dog so it will feel natural, seeing how they see the world and interpret our behavior, to change the way you do the things you already do. Activities like feeding, letting your dog out of the crate or the car, and beginning your walk may take a little longer, but you won’t necessarily have to set aside blocks of ‘training time.’ I’ve gotten incredible results with a model that simply changes and improves the way you do what you already do with your dog.

1. “It’s scary to make a change” / “I’m afraid I won’t be able to commit and stay dedicated till I get lasting results”

This is the reason why it’s been so hard for me to start doing things that I know are good for me like meal prepping, meditating, or regularly exercising. Change is hard and scary! Habits take time, effort and awareness to shift. Even when it’s a powerful change that will have positive effects, it’s hard to find the time and energy to take on anything new. While your relationship with your dog has its stressors, you probably are used to it. It at least feels like it’s stable when so little else in our lives is. The truth is that frustrating, yet manageable problems, when unattended, will inevitably grow. That means things are changing whether we want them to or not. If you seek and apply a training program that helps you understand how your behavior affects your dog you can make sure they change for the better and deepen the relationship you care so much about.

1. “I don’t want my relationship with my dog to change” / “I’m afraid my dog won’t love me as much if I tell them no”

For a lot of us, the relationship we have with our dogs is one of the most important, consistent, and joyful relationships in our lives. We depend on our dogs. It’s scary to imagine that we might undermine that relationship in any way by shifting how we interact or calling them out on their bad behaviors in an impactful way. Even though we know things aren’t as good as they could be, we tend to see our dogs through rose tinted glasses, excusing or dismissing their bad behaviors. This locks us in a cycle of codependency with our dogs that keeps us stuck: Since many of us have an unmet need of unconditional love and positive regard, we projet that on to our dogs and are afraid to jeopardize it with rules and boundaries, ignoring or accepting them as their worst selves. Dog training was an incredibly counter-intuitive process for me. Hell, if it was intuitive, we’d all have good dogs and I wouldn’t have a job. By doing the things I thought would undermine my relationship, I built one that was stronger and clearer than I could conceive of before. I promise, by making small shifts in how you interact with your dog, they will blossom in a way you never thought possible. By following the protocol I now teach, my dog was noticeably more confident, happy, and content. Who wouldn’t want that? 

1. “It will be a lot of work” / Dog training will take time, effort and energy I can’t commit to

I get it. You look at someone with a well-trained dog and you think “wow that’s cool,” but wonder if you can really do it.

Many of us accidentally deprive our dogs of one of life’s greatest pleasures - to have responsibilities, work hard, and accomplish something. We, being overwhelmed with responsibilities, project our desire to be free of them onto our dogs and go too far in the opposite direction. As ‘good owners’ we tend to meet all our dogs' needs AND desires instantaneously, not wanting to say no to them, another projection of a situation we wish we were in. While this may feel good on one level, it deprives them of an important experience and perhaps the best feeling, that of taking on a challenge and growing as a result of it. Shifting your perspective and behaviors takes effort at first and it’s totally worth it. Eventually it will become as natural to you as what you are doing now, except the results you will get will be exponentially more enjoyable.

1. “I can’t take on another thing right now”

It’s so easy for life to get busy and for us to focus on what is loudest or most pressing instead of what is most important. Our dogs can be a companion to relax and unwind with, but for many of us they are another source of stress. It’s important to pick a time to start training when you have the mental and emotional space to dedicate to engaging with your dog more mindfully. Perhaps you will find it’s more important than some of the other things on your plate that you agreed to if you think about it.

1. “I want to try and figure it out on my own unless it gets worse” / “I can train my dog on my own” 

Yeah, you could, but...

We don’t take driver’s ed after we try driving on our own and get into an accident, so why do we wait until things are in crisis before taking on training our dogs? Many people think “we are smart, successful adults, shouldn’t we be able to figure it out using logic and love?” Unfortunately for us, dog training isn’t something that comes naturally to almost anyone, which is why I see almost exclusively overstimulated, anxious, and reactive dogs. It’s even more problematic that these behaviors have become so normalized that we don’t realize how seriously dysfunctional they are. Often the things we try to do to help can actually make the problem worse. 

One of the first steps in training is admitting that what you have been doing isn’t working or that the approach you have tried isn’t working and you have hit the ceiling of it’s effectiveness. I always blamed myself, that I wasn’t applying it thoroughly enough and if I just would try harder I could get the result it promised. Finding a method you can and do apply is one of the moving parts of an effective training program. Many people learn a positive only protocol, but don’t have a treat bag strapped to them 100% of the time for a few years, thus rendering that approach obsolete. Instead of blaming yourself and living with the dog you have, pivot to an approach that actually works for you.

1. “It’s too expensive” / “I can't afford it”

Just like with everything else, you get what you pay for in dog training. Many years ago, as I was just beginning to offer a training service in addition to hiking my pack of dogs everyday, my prices were very low because I knew I only had so much to offer and was still experimenting with my clients to find out what was effective as I learned how to train humans. I was still helpful, but my expertise grew over time and my prices increased. This won't always be the case as many beginners are coached to charge as much as they can get and sell with (often unearned) confidence.

The truth is, good training is worth investing in. We love our dogs so much. But what is love? Do we love them enough to learn how they see the world and how we can be the best teammate for them? Enough to get coached on the best way to resolve their challenges and help them enjoy as full a life as possible? This is one of the most important relationships in your life and you should absolutely invest time, energy, attention and resources into those that matter to you. If you don’t, it will cost you in stress and frustration.

1. “I’m not sure how to pick a trainer” / “There’s ONE best technique, but I’m not sure what it is”

It’s easy for dog owners to find themselves in an impossible situation because there are so many different styles of training and even within each approach, so much disagreement. It’s hard to know what is right for you and your dog and what is effective. The concept of ‘dog training’ has been associated with the obedience commands or a trick routine. It’s the focus of the big box pet store puppy classes and all R+ trainers. I think teaching tricks and building a language with your dog is a piece of the puzzle, but owners are often frustrated that a dog who knows sit and down is still unmanageable and only responds to the commands they know selectively. They thought the dog would be ‘trained’ once they knew commands and wonder if this is as good as it gets or where to go from there.

Different dog personalities also have different needs. While shock collar training worked for your friend with a working breed, it may not be appropriate for your sensitive dog. Treat training worked for your other dog with high food drive, but is totally useless with your non food driven dog. A super active dog loved obedience or agility training, but your less active, more stubborn dog refuses and you aren’t sure what to do.

When clients would call me completely overwhelmed by the number of trainers in the area and often contradictory differences in styles, I would tell them the only thing they can do is read websites, research the trainer on social media, then choose whoever’s language resonated with them and ideas rang true inside of them. Logic can do a lot for us, but a big part of dog training for me has been learning to listen to my intuition. If you choose wrong - that’s okay! That’s also a part of learning. Practice another one of my favorite dog training tools, self compassion, and try again. 

Why I love what I do

I love the style of training I teach because it’s everything I wanted to know about dogs that no one told me. After a decade of hiking with dogs every day, boarding people’s dogs, then training hundreds of dogs, I learned how dogs communicate with each other, how the dog that other dogs respect behave, and what they allow or don’t allow. 

By copying how dogs interact with each other, there is no confusion or translation - I teach humans to speak dog instead of teaching dogs how to learn like a human so it works right away. Dogs don’t train each other using food, toys or other reward based approaches. They train each other using energy, boundaries and a consequence structure. So why should we turn all of that on its head so life can look pretty and we can keep believing dogs are angels in the way we wish they were? 

Accepting the realities of who a dog is can be a rude awakening and doesn’t align with our fantasy of who we want them to be, as well as the positive only approach does. People often call me after other approaches that they wanted to work on have failed them and they are ready to open their minds so they can get results and start enjoying their lives.

You can't always get what you want

Wouldn’t it be amazing to live in a world where your every need or desire was met almost instantaneously? Theoretically, this would be a dream. We would be constantly comfortable, content, wildly happy. Sounds great, right?

No matter how much we may try, it is impossible to give our dog everything they want, just as our parents couldn’t give it to us as children. For those who tried, flash to the child having an inconsolable, out of control temper tantrum in public because he couldn’t get the toy he saw in the store or play with the red truck because Billy was using it. If whenever possible we are giving our dogs what they want, the moments when that is impossible become even more stark and stressful because we haven’t help our dog build the internal mental framework to deal with life’s inevitable frustrations.

As I like to say in my training sessions, I don’t always get what I want. In fact, I spend most of every day not getting what I want. And you know what, I’m okay!

Good dogs in traffic

When I’m stuck in traffic, it is frustrating. I do what I can to drive at off peak hours or pick a route that will allow me more movement, but being stuck in stop and go traffic at some point is inevitable. When I am, I don’t punch dashboard, grip the wheel and scream. I don’t plow down the sidewalk or abandon my car in the lane and storm off. I sit in my car, take a deep breath and say ‘wow, this is frustrating.’ Then I use my self soothing tools, taking deep breaths and thinking positive thoughts, like ‘wow, how lucky am I to have a car and somewhere to go?’ Or ‘isn’t it great that I usually don’t have to sit in traffic? This must be rough for daily commuters.’

Self soothing is an important skill because life’s frustrations are inevitable. When we meet our dog’s every need, we deprive them of learning to navigate difficult emotions. I see this on restaurant or bar patios where a dog sees another dog walks in and goes wild with desire, barking and jumping because they want to say hi. Either the owner ignores it, allowing their dog to bark frantically to the dismay of every other living being in earshot, or, worse, takes their pushy, excited dog over to say hi, likely to the dismay of the dog he is about to approach.

You probably didn’t know there was another option. We build our dog’s frustration tolerance in every small moment we can by asking our dog to ‘wait’ before he gets anything he wants. The ‘wait’ command is designed to build the muscle of self control. The more my dog associates exercising the self control he needs to calm himself down with getting what he wants, the faster my dog will be able to do it. The more we practice it in quiet, everyday situations, the more of a foundation my dog will have to draw on in more exciting and distracting situations.

Our rule is that we never give an excited dog what he wants. Only calm dogs get the food bowl put down, get the leash put on, get to walk out of the front door, load or unload from the car, get to greet another dog or person.

Not only is this GREAT practice for your dog to build his frustration tolerance and exercise impulse inhibition, you are also setting yourself up to have more safe and pleasant interactions throughout his life. When I see a dog dragging their owner towards me, I step aside and display body language to the owner that makes it clear I would like them to control their dog and keep it away from me. As a dog trainer, I don’t want to reward an excited mindset with attention. As a human, I don’t want a dog to barge up to me and possibly jump on me or get so excited he mouths me and gets slobber on my skin or clothes.

My dog responds very differently to a dog that drags their owner towards her, rushing, barking, sniffing out of control vs a dog who politely and calmly approaches, stops at a respectful distance, makes a bid to interact and then politely observes dog social greeting norms like circling and sniffing, dipping their nose away every three seconds to see if the other dog would like to continue the interaction or end it.

This sounds crazy, right? Most of us have never seen dogs have a polite greeting! Or haven’t known how different the two types of interactions look as we lump it into ‘dogs greeting’ which sometimes goes well and other times doesn’t.

Importantly, this isn’t about denying my dog any or everything! This isn’t a punishment or a mean training technique designed to torture our dogs. In fact, helping my dog build self control is immeasurably kind as we all inevitably encounter frustrations. Sometimes my dog wants something he can’t have and that is just the way it is. You may want a bite of my spicy food or to grab that steak off my kitchen counter or to lick ice cream off that random toddler’s face or to play with the cat.

Yeah, that's gonna be a no from me, dawg.

Other times, it’s something my dog can have, but not right now. I appreciate my dog letting me know that they are hungry, would like to be let outside to potty, are getting restless and would like to go for a walk, but I am also not my dog’s butler. I won’t leap up the second they give me a cue unless I have really messed up my owner duties and not fed them or taken them out for an excessive amount of time and the situation is now dire. Otherwise I acknowledge my dog and gently ask them to stop cuing me. Once they return to a neutral state, I can they say ‘Hey! I have a great idea! Would you like to go out?” That way what we are doing feels like it’s done on my terms and as a reward for accessing the calm, balanced mindset we strive to create in all the dogs we work with.

How to avoid shoving your dog (or why corrections are kind)

I try not to give unsolicited advice or judge my friends when I’m around them & their dogs. For the most part the dogs truly are good enough, but they aren’t all necessarily what I would call trained. (As a preface - this article features photos of my friends’ amazing dogs that have joined me on hikes and are pretty darn good!)

One thing I’ve noticed is that our beloved pet dogs are pushed and dragged and get in trouble a lot. The owners spend a lot of time being affectionate, but not very much time laying a groundwork for training language or communicating how they want life to look. They fix what’s happening in the moment, but not in a way that teaches their dog what they want in general.

Kudu

My friend absolutely loves her two small doodles and is fine with them being just a little trained. Ultimately, as long as the dogs are safe and minimally annoying to be around, if she’s happy, I’m happy. One day we were doing a project on her living room floor when the younger dog walked over to us and right on to our workspace and supplies. My friend immediately and absentmindedly shoved her dog off with a swift sweep of her arm. No ‘out’ command. No directional hand signal. No attempt to communicate.

I was really taken aback when I saw this happen. Like, really shocked and upset. I had to carefully consider why that would surprise me so much. I took the time to build a language with my dog and a relationship in which she is mostly observant to my cues & respects my communications. I was surprised by how aggressive it seemed to me to shove a dog with no communication or warning. Unless the situation we were in was dangerous, I would never shove my dog. Ideally no one would.

Luna

From the dog’s perspective, sitting on the floor is usually an invitation to interact. Most of the time, accepting that invitation is well received by affectionate owners who pet their dog whenever it comes up to them. Looking at the situation from the dog's perspective, how was she supposed to know this time was different? How could the dog have avoided getting shoved?

Building communication and respect with a dog involves giving a lot of guidance as well as some corrections. These corrections are designed to make a dog temporarily uncomfortable so they associate the discomfort they feel with the behavior we deemed dangerous or otherwise undesirable. They also are designed as building blocks to the end goal of creating a language and relational system that decreases the need for corrections over time. My friend got done what she needed to get done in the moment - the dog was moved - but in this case the dog experienced discomfort and wasn’t set up to learn anything about how to avoid it in the future.

When I begin an interaction with a dog where I need them to do something, I make sure I get the dog’s attention. This is a key step that is often missed. Then I embody an ‘on the job’ energy so the dog knows something is being asked of them. I give a clear verbal and/or directional cue, saying just one word they know and not a sentence of human talk. I visualize what I want my dog’s response to be. After that I wait a beat, which is 1/2 a second to 2 or 3 seconds, giving my dog a chance to process my communication and decide what to do.

If my dog completes the command with little or no hesitation I reward them with the relaxation of my energy, a ‘good dog’ and/or a little scratch.

Heidi

If they don’t complete the command, I determine if it’s because they didn’t understand or they are being obstinate. If they may not be clear on what I’m asking, I repeat the instruction with more guidance, like a hand signal or by repositioning myself. If they're having an obstinate moment I may increase my energy and move closer to add pressure. I’ll keep doing this until I get the outcome I want, then relax and reward or even simply shift my attention away from them to remove the discomfort they felt a moment before.

Sometimes the pressure is in the form of a touch, but only following multiple commands and combined with other cues. My dog will learn that I touch them in a not super pleasant way when they ignore a command. It will never be in a way that could cause harm, just sufficient annoyance (you know, kind of like what you feel when your dog continues to do the stuff you wish they would stop doing). This touch is usually a light pulsing pressure to help the dog make the choice to move away without doing moving them myself by pushing them. If necessary I’ll guide a dog with pulsing pressure on the collar in the direction I want them to go, associating the action with the initial command by repeating it and the directional cue (such as pointing).

Bootsie

These days people bristle at the thought of intentionally causing a dog any discomfort. Part of it is this generation's zeitgeist dog training myth that rewards can solve every problem. They can't. Part of it is projection. We don’t like that most of our lessons come through discomfort and consequences, so we try to shield our dog from that. Of course we don’t like causing our dog discomfort, however when it’s done intentionally that discomfort is proportional and temporary. When we abstain from guiding our dog’s behavior through deliberate corrections, we unintentionally double the discomfort they experience - the discomfort of the natural consequence of the behavior -like pulling on the leash or getting too excited to make good choices - as well as the discomfort of our usually too harsh and, from their perspective, out of nowhere reaction.

In the situation in my friend’s living room, I would have done a few things very differently. First of all, I would have made sure my dog had sufficient exercise so she wouldn’t be as excited about involving herself in my human tasks at home. As I sat down I would I’d glance at my dog to see if she’s interested or not, knowing that action could be misinterpreted as an invitation. If she started coming over, I’d give a light ‘eh-eh’ sound, put up my hand like a stop sign and tense my energy to let her know that wasn’t the right move. If she kept moving towards us I’d repeat the verbal cue and go from the stop sign cue to waving my hands gently in a ’shoo’ movement. If that still didn’t work I would start getting up, as if to walk into her space and move her out of mine (I have found usually just acting like I’m about to get up is enough to make the point). When she gives up and goes back to her spot I can reward that choice with a light, sing-songy ‘good girl’ and go back to what I was doing knowing that my dog is in place, at least for now.

Be kind to your dog by learning some training techniques so you can give commands and apply pressure effectively. Guide your dog’s behavior in each moment in a way that builds their understanding for future situations. Make the effort to deliberately apply the training techniques, even when they are hard to wrap your head around in the beginning or when they take a bit longer that you’d like to produce results. Be aware enough of your actions to anticipate situations where your dog may make mistake. Be aware enough of your dog to give them cues before they make the mistake to help prevent it. Notice the first few steps of a bad idea and give your dog a chance to listen to the commands you already taught them. If all that doesn’t work, use as little pressure as possible or as much pressure as necessary to guide them out of a behavior or situation you don’t want and into a behavior you do want. Last step: repeat as needed and enjoy life with a companion and teammate you can communicate with.

European dogs are better (and it’s all our fault)

I have been in Italy and Switzerland for the past three weeks and one thing I noticed right away is that European dogs are better behaved than American dogs.

There seems to be slightly less dogs here, but they are in more places. Dogs in restaurants. Dogs on buses or in the train station. Dogs in shops. The dogs go everywhere with the owner, many walking on a harness with a loose leash and being very settled and calm in their mentality.

These dogs are out and about. They look around. They enjoy the scenery and smells of the world. They are having a good time. One very clear difference that explains why these dogs are so good out in public is that no one on the street stops to greet or pet them therefore they don't excitedly pull towards anyone walking by because they have no expectation of a potential reward.

This may seem counter intuitive - less attention equals more happiness? Many of the issues I see in dogs at home is that they are at a baseline of being overstimulated and overexcited. From that overexcited mindset when they are out of the house they can't make good choices socially and engage in impulsive behaviors like pulling on the leash or dragging towards objects of interest like other dogs, people, squirrels, or smells.

All the petting by strangers actually rewards that impulsive and excited mindset. First of all, dragging towards someone gets rewarded with pets so that is a behavior a dog will continue to engage in because it was successful. Second, the type of mindset that would drag is rewarded, creating positive associations with being in that mindset.

This is all because the owners or the people doing the petting don't know that most dogs they see are overexcited. They also would never think not to pet an excited dog. Why wouldn't we want to reward excitement? We as humans covet that state! This could also be because the owners don't feel comfortable risking being seen as rude by asking people not to pet their dog or to wait until their dog is calm. They may not even know how to calm their dog down!

I had heard this about Europe - that many dogs are able to walk happily next to their owners off leash through busy streets because it isn't customary to pet other people's dogs, thus the dog is able to calmly focus on his job and enjoys quite a bit more freedom than our over-pet American dogs do. Do you think a dog would rather get less pets and enjoy a life of going everywhere with their owner off leash or more pets but less outings and a life of pulling on the leash?

To be fair, I have noticed that while the European dogs are much better behaved around people, the dogs here tend to react badly when they see another dog. That same calm dog will begin barking and the owners, much like their American counterparts, will either ignore it, give a too subtle correction that goes unnoticed or unheeded by the dog or, worst of all, pet their dog in an attempt to calm them which accidentally rewards the very behavior they are trying to disincentivize.

Because dogs are primarily human companions, many dogs in today's world don't know how to dog! They don't know how to interact or how to react when they see another dog. A dog will bark either out of overexcitement, an attempt to interact or a reactive knee jerk response because they feel the other dog is a potential threat or that they need to protect their owner.

While there are actions we can and should take in the moment to dissuade our dog from barking such as giving a stern 'No' at an intensity that draws our dog's attention, creating a pulsing pressure on the leash that brings their focus back to us or giving them something else to focus on, like walking back and forth, in a circle or in a figure 8 until they settle down, I think it’s vital to look at the cause of the barking to be able to address the problem at the source and solve it instead of only managing it in the moment it occurs.

If a dog is under-socialized and doesn't know how to act around other dogs, it's our obligation as owners to socialize them. This can be done at a competent daycare, but should be begun slowly and early in their life (see our Dog Dating article for more tips).

If your dog is over excited, look at all the places in your life where you reward an excited mindset. Do you pet your dog when they are in a stimulated state or every time they solicit attention? Do you leash a dog that is barking, spinning in circles or jumping on you? Do you leave the house after your dog dragged you down the hallway? Do you feed a dog that is shoving his nose in the bowl before it can reach the ground? Do you let a dog out of the door that gets in front of you and pushes his nose into the crack the moment it opens? Does your dog leap out of the car the second the door is wide enough? Can your dog get off and stay off of furniture when asked? If you 'reward' these impulsive driven behaviors by giving the dog the thing they want of course you will get more of the same and in moments you don't want it. As trainers, we take the natural rewards of life and use them as moments to practice being calm and patient to encourage that mindset. The more a dog is asked to go from an excited state to a calm one, the more accessible and normal that calm state will be.

Finally, if your dog is reactive or feels he needs to protect you, it's important to look at how your dog perceives you and your relationship. When dogs greet each other for the first time, they immediately begin to feel each other out so they know where they fall in the social system. Often one dog will do something rude and see if the other dog submits to it, tolerates it or doesn't allow it. This gives response gives them feedback about their relationship and what they can and can't get away with when it comes to interacting with that dog. Sometimes dogs need to have this conversation over and over depending on the combination of personality types.

Back to us humans. Many behaviors that we think are cute, sweet or loving are actually, unfortunately quite rude in dog culture. They amount to a dog 'feeling us out' and seeing what they can get away with. By allowing these behaviors, or rewarding them, we show our dog that we are a sucker and they can walk all over us - often literally. When a dog sees us as a bit of a push over and feels they are 'above us' there is a downside. In their culture, being ‘above’ someone means they are responsible for them. If they are responsible for us and a potential threat, like another dog, is approaching, well, the best defense is a good offense. From here we get barking, growling, lunging, the raising of hackles and other antisocial behaviors from dogs that aren’t truly aggressive, just confused.

Luckily, the cure for this unfortunate dynamic lies within our power. If we can learn dog language and culture and shift how we respond to certain behaviors we can change how our dog sees us and the world. This will improve their lives in so many ways. While they may enjoy it, they don't 'need' unlimited love, instant gratification, affection from strangers or a lack of boundaries at home. What they most need is a sense of safety: to know that someone has their back and will advocate for them and to feel that they have a competent leader they trust to receive direction from. They don’t need an overly permissive parent to enjoy life, they need a good boss.

When I shifted my relationship with my dog from an indulgent one to a more structured one the transformation I saw in her was nothing short of miraculous. Our relationship became more subtle. There was room for her personality to come out. Her interactions with other dogs, which at the point I applied this training intervention were devastating and dangerous, became calm and confident. Honestly, remembering and writing that makes me tear up. In shifting how I interacted with my dog to a style that was more focused on what was actually good for her and less about what I wanted to be good for her or what felt good to me was love in the most pure and selfless form. It changed her life and my life, too. I'm so grateful I get to share this information with others and help improve the lives of dogs and their owners around the world.

Dog's Bill of Rights

In my training sessions, I teach owners the difference between privileges and rights. Dogs today are impulsive and entitled because we treat privileges as if they are rights - getting on the furniture, getting treats, jumping on anyone they want to greet or over sniffing dogs they encounter. Some of these things are just bad manners. Other times it is our dog thinking that they should get exactly what they want when they want it. We are so desperate to give our dogs the best life, we have conditioned them to think this way..

Every dog’s Bill of Rights

• Food

• Water

• Shelter

• Exercise

• Socialization

• Mental stimulation

That is it! Those six things will give your dog the best life possible. I didn’t include leadership, boundaries and a job to do, but these are also an important part of creating a calm, mentally balanced and happy dog.

Why would more rules make for a happier dog? This is a little counter intuitive! Imagine if your friend had a meltdown every time they had to wait at a red light. Or if someone you knew wouldn’t take no for an answer when trying to flirt with someone. Or if your partner demanded that they go where they wanted to go exactly when they wanted to go there? We wouldn't tolerate that kind of behavior from another person. Ultimately that person would be stressed and unhappy because they never learned the sad fact of life that we can’t always have what we want exactly when we want it. Learning patience, compromise, acceptance and how to deal with disappointment is an important part of raising children and it should be a part of dog ownership. Dogs are social animals and as such they need to learn that “No” is an answer, and they have to learn how to be ok with that.

The best way to love your dog is to feed them the best possible food and change their  water daily, put down a few comfy dog beds or blankets or set up a crate to give them their own space, get plenty of exercise every day, create a balance of interaction and focus, and give them the job of being polite and responsive , rewarding their good behavior.

Most of this is activity and relationship based! Notice we don’t mention treats. Did you know that our dog’s are not designed to graze? Most adult dogs, especially those that are raw fed, do best when they are fed just once a day. Treats can be used as a reward when teaching something new, ideally close to a meal time, but they are not an expression of love and are bad for dogs stomachs when fed intermittently. Dogs are opportunistic eaters and will always take a treat, but just because you want to have ice cream or french fries every day doesn’t mean you should.

We are passionate about enabling you to go hiking with your dog because it meets so many of your dog’s needs. There is no better way to satisfy a dog’s natural drive for activity, novelty and adventure. The sights and smells on the trails stimulate your dog’s senses. Climbing, swimming and running on uneven terrain exercises your dog’s brain as well as all their muscle groups. Your ‘pack’ and the dogs you  meet along the trail provide socialization without the closed in feeling that can make dog parks wild. Being asked to remain responsive in a stimulating natural environment  reinforces the calm, obedient mentality you want your dogs to maintain at home. The natural challenges that arise on the trail are wonderful learning experiences! It’s incredible to watch a dog’s confidence grow as they learn to navigate the great outdoors and face their fears with your guidance.

Love your dog by getting them out of your neighborhood and to a park or hiking trail so they can enjoy nature and live their best life! If you want to learn more about training your dog to be safe off leash, check out our group classes. The next one will run in the Fall and you can join the waitlist today!

What kind of dog are you creating?

One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people.

He said, "My son, the battle is between two "wolves" inside us all.

One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.

The other is good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith."

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: "Which wolf wins?"

The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed."

Time and time again, I think of how this story applies to dogs and the training philosophy I teach. In horse training they say, in every moment you are either training or un-training your horse. I want to approach in a way that is respectful, calm and confident, an approach that is likely to be successful in my mission of catching them from the pasture or putting a halter on in the stall. This involves reading their body, adjusting my pace and body language, and moving in a way that indicates I will achieve my goal, sometimes blocking or leaning to show I’m able to anticipate their intention if they are going to try to evade me.

From the moment I walk into a client’s home, every action matters. I know some clients are taken aback when I ask them to leash their pup to prevent them from barking or jumping on me. I don’t greet the dog while they are excited that a new person has entered. I don’t let the dog approach me or put their nose on me to have a sniff. When we sit, I ask that the dog sits nicely next to, but not on top of the owner. In fact, I pretty much ignore the dog unless I’m giving them a command to indicate where I want them, a correction when they engage in an undesirable behavior, or a reward for relaxing into the behavior I want. 

All these small moments matter because I need to get out on the right foot with a dog. I need to create a dog that will listen to me, respect me and trust me. I need to encourage the dog to be calm, aware, and respectful of boundaries. When I ask for all this, the dog settles down, tunes into me and looks to me for cues on what to do. All the while I’m seemingly ignoring them, but actually guiding and correcting them. 

In each moment, in each small interaction, I’m creating the dog I want. While we are dealing with a problem behavior, it is essential to be crystal clear about the hierarchy in the pack (who gets their way, who listens to who), the expectations and boundaries I have, and my dedication to achieving or enforcing them. There are still rewards, but it is more subtle than most people are used to. Just like the friend who rarely gives you compliments, my rewards carry more weight because they need to be earned and aren’t given freely. 

If I reward a dog that jumps with attention, if I reward a dog that pushes to the door with opening it, if I reward a dog that barks with attention or affection, I’m creating more of just that, a dog that is excited, a dog that is pushy, and a dog that is demanding. It feels good to provide and receive instant gratification, but just like eating rich, fatty food, that instant gratification isn’t good in the long term. Don’t you appreciate that chocolate cake or those french fries more if you mostly abstain?

When new clients embark on their training journey, I describe what we do as a behavioral elimination diet. There is something in our dog’s lives that is making them think it’s okay to do that undesirable behavior, that they don’t need to listen to us or that they don’t need to exercise the self control required to resist temptations and not react to certain stimuli. When we shift our perspective, adjust our behavior, and have clear expectations, our dogs respond. The same way a dog is immediately responsive to me because of the way I enter the home, your dog can be more responsive to you if I can teach you to act like me. 

Once we get back to basics, get on that bland diet, and your dog’s behavior begins to stabilize, then we can start playing with the different elements of our lives together, relaxing some rules and boundaries, and adding in privileges, but all one by one so we can tell what it is that tips the scales for our pup. 

When I did this with my dog, Harley, pulling back allowed her true personality to come out. I discovered she didn’t like being pet as often or in the way I was petting her. By abstaining, she was able to show me when she wanted attention, and because her attitude was cooperative and respectful, I could choose when I wanted to meet her desire for affection and when I wasn’t able without her becoming pushy or demanding. I found that talking to my dog as much as I was was confusing and stressful for her. She never knew when I was going to disturb her with my voice and attention, and when I did, it wasn’t clear if I wanted anything or was just, essentially, bothering her. 

When I started pulling back, Harley settled, became more confident and more responsive. She developed a sense of self and safety after a lifetime of separation anxiety. Her interactions with other dogs changed. She relaxed, listened to me better, and trusted me more. All by shifting my behavior and the manner in which we had our interactions! The changes in Harley astounded me and improved her life exponentially. That is why I’m so excited to share this method and knowledge with my clients, because it works. It is practiced in small moments instead of taking out 20 minutes a day to rehearse a routine of tricks.  In every interaction ask yourself “which dog I am feeding: a calm, responsive dog or an excited and impulsive one.”

dog….Dog…DOG!

In sessions I see a lot of owners saying their dog’s name in the place of giving a command. Heck, I even do it sometimes. I always compare this to trying to ask your friend or partner or client to do something by only saying their name. If I was trying to give a client coaching on loose leash walking and said, let’s say, “Jane” in a soft, friendly sing-songy voice, I may get a glance from her, but it would probably be accompanied by a raised eyebrow as she thought to herself ‘what is going on? Does she want my attention?’ Saying a name with no other words usually serves just that purpose, to get someone’s attention. 

Now let’s say she glanced at me, but that wasn’t what I wanted. I was trying to get her to slow her pace or to give her dog a cue with the leash or stop staring at her dog as she walked. I didn’t get what I wanted, so I say louder, “Jane!” And she responds with a more frustrated glance that says “what?” Clearly she is doing something I don’t want her to do, or not doing something I do want her to do, but she has no way of knowing what. I’m not giving her any instruction, I am only saying her name. 

By now she must be annoyed. She knows something is going wrong, but doesn’t know what it is or how to fix it. I’m frustrated too, because I’m not getting the desired result, so I bark out “JANE!” and storm towards her, throwing my hands in the air because I don’t understand why things are going so badly. 

Well, in this situation I would clearly be a poor communicator. If Jane had been working with me a long time and I had told her 100 times, “hey, stop staring at your dog as you walk” then I warned her that I couldn’t keep telling her the same thing over and over, when I said her name, she would probably know that I had caught her doing the thing she knew that she wasn’t supposed to be doing, she may think to herself, “crap, I was staring at my dog again!” and correct the error without my having to explain what my admonition was in reference to. I knew that she would know because we had already established that in many previous conversations.

Sometimes, you can use your dog’s name as a correction. Especially if you have more than one dog (or children)dog, the word “no” or an ‘eh-eh’ sound could apply to anyone. In this case, use your gaze, your attention and your body language to indicate wh0 your voice is being directed at. 

If your dog is consistently unreliable responding to commands, plays too rough, lags behind, wanders off or gets too far away, when caught in the act you can sharply and loudly say their name, and, realizing the jig is up, they will usually snap back into gear. When they know the behavior you want,when you call them out, they have the ability to immediately comply. 

If you say your dog’s name and they don’t connect the dots on what is going wrong, say their name again and add the command.  If that still doesn’t work, you will know that either this task has not been truly established with your dog or your dog is having a moment where they got so excited they temporarily lost their mind - or at least the part of it that is inclined being obedient.You will then approach your dog to guide them, correct them, or otherwise achieve the behavior you were looking for.

What is important that you establish what you want in each instance through training. Take your time, lay the groundwork, show your dog  right from wrong multiple times and reinforce the behaviors you want while preventing, correcting or disincentivizing those you don’t want. While teaching your dog what behavior or mentality you are looking for, it’s important that you interrupt the behavior you don’t want, you can sometimes do this by calling your dog’s name. That interruption must be quickly followed with showing your dog what you DO want. 

If your dog is playing too rough, say ‘easy’ and if they don't take it down a few notches, call them back to you or step in and interrupt their play to ask them to sit and collect themself or take a break on leash for a while.  If your dog is lagging behind, say their  name to get their attention and if they don’t automatically respond by catching up , ask them to ‘come come’ or keep moving saying ‘let’s go’ or tell them to get off the smell with a ‘leave it.’ If those don’t work, start walking back towards them, repeating the command or making sounds (Shhh Shhh, Hey, or a clap) to get their attention and let them know  you’re a comin’ for ‘em. Usually once you start making our way towards your dog they know the best option is to leave the smell and come along.

In summary, using your dog’s name is a good way to get their attention and can sometimes take the place of a command. However, if your dog doesn’t seem to understand what you want from them, it’s your job to tune into that and change your approach after the second time you use their name and don’t get the response you wanted. If you do get the response you were looking for, be sure to relax your manner and reward your dog with cooing sounds and a pet.

If you whisper to dogs, you must be very quiet

Sometimes people call us ‘dog whisperers’ because we know how to behave in a way that makes dogs intuitively engage with us with focus and respect. I appreciate the compliment and I also want to scream from the rooftops that anyone can enjoy this subtle relationship with their dog if they learn the guidelines.

My sweet dog Harley just turned ten in December. She has recently started putting herself to bed, choosing to leave my side on the couch and go to my bedroom before I do. If you have done a training session with me, you may notice that Harley sits with me on the couch and sleeps in my bed (only in the winter, as summers she prefers to be under my bed). As long as Harley is behaving and listening well, I don’t mind her having privileges! My guidelines for privileges is that my dog’s behavior be good in all other areas, so when I say ‘off’ without any hesitation or stickiness, she will oblige.

I love seeing this independence from Harley. She used to suffer from terrible separation anxiety before I started applying the methods I now teach my training clients. If you live with a Dachshund or another burrowing breed, you know that any lumpy blanket likely has a dog under it. When I got into bed the other night and she was all sleepy and snuggled, I was tempted to lift the blanket, give her a pet and tell her goodnight. This is a normal, and loving, human moment of desire. I witnessed the urge arise, but  instead of acting on it, I imagined that experience from Harley’s perspective.

If I was exhausted and went to bed early, I would certainly notice if someone joined me,but if they lifted the covers, exposing my body to cold air, rubbed on me and spoke to me, ensuring that I was roused from my sleep, I would probably be a little upset. What may be loving in human gestures, can also be a little rude, especially for a creature who doesn’t live by human cultural norms of expressing or experiencing love.

I knew Harley would love a pet, squeeze and kind word when she woke up in the morning, so I resisted the urge to tell her goodnight with words and simply thought it in my mind. Our dogs invite us to a more subtle level of communication and sensation. That lesson isn’t wasted on me. People say ‘dog whisperer’ as a compliment, but the truth is that most of the time I feel dog psychic! I’m able to ‘talk’ to dogs by shifting my attention, my energy, my body language or my gaze. It is incredible how sensitive our dogs are once they are calm and focused. It’s also a calling for me to take advantage of the opportunity to practice communicating on that level.

To me, this is love. Even though I would have liked to show Harley affection and she probably wouldn’t have minded much, for me to refrain in that moment, because I knew it wouldn’t be the best thing for my sweet, sleeping pup, felt good. It was also a moment of awareness for me that even though I have been practicing tuning into my dog and seeing things from her perspective for 10 years, I still had to remind myself to control my human urges and put what I know into practice. My training suggestions are a big change for my clients - I went through the same journey myself and still practice every day! What keeps me going is the calm, happy, attentive state my dog gets to live in as a result. If that isn’t love, putting my dog’s happiness ahead of my momentary urges, then I don’t know what is.

When commands trail off...

Austinites loooove their dogs, so when I’m out and about I get to see a lot of dog/owner interaction. One of the most common mistakes I see people make is to drop a command when their dog doesn’t comply. I think this happens so often because people simply don’t know what to do in those moments where their dog doesn’t listen.

From a training perspective, it’s important that I have a lot of integrity in my relationship with my dog. Because, ultimately, all of the training we do is for safety, it’s really really important to me that the twenty-odd times a day I give my dog a command they listen. I need for my dog to know that if I start asking them for something, I’m not going to quit till I get it. This helps my dog understand that the best way to make me quit saying that word is just to do the thing it means, then life gets fun again! If I quit, however, and don’t follow through on a command my dog learns that I have a breaking point, and if they can push me to that point they will never have to do the thing I asked them. The only way you can fail at dog training is by giving up!

I’m a dog trainer, but that doesn’t mean I’m not a person too! Sometimes I want some time off, and my dog or the dogs boarding at my home are doing something I don’t like (playing too rough in the house, going into a room they don’t belong in, barking at a noise), when this happens, I’ll start with my ‘eh-eh’ sound as a correction. ‘Eh-eh’ is great because it just means ‘stop what you are doing.’ Easy enough! If I slip up and say something like ‘sit’ and my dog, who is activated and involved in being a little naughty doesn’t comply, that means I have to get my lazy bum off the couch and walk over to my dog, get their attention, and make sure we follow through on the command I just gave.

Knowing how to teach your dog to sit is great and important. Knowing what to do when, for whatever reason, your dog doesn’t want to do that thing you are asking them to do, that you know they know how to do, is just as, if not more, important! That is one of the things we cover in our training series, and something that can really help your relationship with your pup as you guide them towards being more reliably obedient. Often those moments when it’s tough to get their attention and compliance are the ones where it can matter the most!

Our favorite 4-lettered word is C-A-L-M

The reason a lot of people love dogs is their easy access to states of exuberance and joy. As anyone who has ever walked down a city street or met a dog knows, dogs are easily excitable. Most dogs today are little, furry instant gratification machines.

See another dog? Freak out. 

Human looks at you? Freak out.

Going for a walk? Freak out.

Someone has a treat? Freak out.

Dogs are natural pros at getting amped up so what they need from us is an incentive to calm down. In order to be healthy, your dog needs to learn how to regulate their emotions - just like a person! 

You can create a container where this is possible by:

Pre-empting your dog's reaction in potentially exciting situations

• When you know you are going to subject your dog to those situations that are exciting for them, such as answering the door, passing another dog on the street, getting your dog into the car or approaching water on the trail, be sure to take a deep breath, give a touch on the leash or a verbal command and ask them to focus on you. 

• Down regulate their energy before they get distracted instead of just trying to manage them after.

Making the right thing easy and the wrong thing hard

• When your dog is being reactive and getting overly excited, do what it takes to get their attention back on you and be sure to  move away from what they want instead of towards it. 

• When your dog is jumping around, panting, whining or pulling towards something, stop where you are or move away from it. 

• Only when your dog is walking calmly and retaining their composure,  can you move steadily towards the awesome thing. 

• Have a picture of what you want in your mind and do whatever it takes to make reality match.

• As a leader for your dog, it's important that you always have a picture of what you want reality to look like. 

• When you put on the leash, you want your dog sitting calmly. 

• When you open the door, you want your dog ready to wait at the threshold.

• When you walk, you want your dog by your side and not pulling. 

• When you greet another dog, you want your dog's energy to be calm. You want them to be able to approach the other dog with a cool head so they can read and demonstrate prosocial body language. 

• If your dog is matching the picture you have in your mind, great! Life can keep being awesome! 

• If your dog's behavior doesn't match what you want, apply pressure with your voice, eyes, body language, leash and energy till you have their attention and they are calm again.

Everyone lies on social media, even dogs!

We all know that someone's social media image isn't necessarily indicative of the reality of their life. Well, the same is true for dog photos. We, as humans, are terrible at reading dog body language and this holds true for photographs as well. 

One of the most common  misconceptions is an easy one. Panting looks a lot like smiling! When a dog is panting, it can mean they are hot, but it can also be a sign of anxiety. A few weeks ago on a bar patio someone offhandedly commented on all the happy dogs there. He saw a few dogs sitting or laying down and panting, or, to his eyes, smiling. What I saw was dogs that were warm and anxious. They were most likely uncomfortable on the rocks by the picnic table their owner was sitting at. The music from the nearby stage was likely too loud for them. Being held on leash or tied up in a public space where there are people and other dogs can be stressful. These dogs were okay, but it probably wasn't their favorite day. Dogs are good sports about most things, but if owners were able to accurately read their dog's body language, they may make different choices about when to bring a dog along and when the dog may prefer to be left home.

The truth is, we are part of the problem! The photos we choose to post online or send to owners conform to these misinterpretations. We may not post this photo to Instagram because the dogs all look so serious. Some are distracted by a sound, a few are looking at the camera, only one is panting, but because of their ear position they don't necessarily look happy. The truth is, these dogs are calm and focused on the job at hand, which is staying in the position we put them in and maintaining the stay till they are released, despite whatever that distracting sound off to the left is. Judging by their body language, these dogs would be able to be calmly released from the pose and continue on with the hike without too much fuss (meaning us fussing at them).

Don't these dogs look happier? I don't know how long we were hiking before this photo or how warm it was that day, but the truth is they are probably hot.

Check out Nell's expression in this photo. She looks so serious! The truth is that she is calm and focused. Her ears are perked and her tail is up, telling me that she is perfectly content. 

Beware the lie of the tail - not every wag is a happy one. A slow deliberate wag can be a sign of discomfort. A tail that is out and up, but stiff can also be a sign of tension. In both of those scenarios, I may try to get my dog's attention or shift the situation so my dog feels more comfortable.

Nell is a Rhodesian Ridgeback so she has a stripe of hair that grows in the opposite direction along her spine. On any other breed of dog, the look of her back would indicate discomfort and be referred to as 'having her hackles up'. It's the body's version of growling. 

For me, when it comes to what I want to see from my dog, I care more about a calm energy and mentality than them looking happy. Wouldn't it be weird if you had a friend that was smiling all the time? Like, all the time? Well, intermittently riling our dogs up so their affect conforms to our perception of happiness can be detrimental to your dog's mental health and general obedience. I mean, I get it. These dogs really do look a bit blue or grumpy, but this is a place we have to retrain our brains so that our perception of our dogs more closely matches the reality. While I wouldn't post these pictures because they don't match our idea of a happy dog, this is, in actuality, more of the look I want the dogs who are with me to have.

If it ain't workin', stop doing it!

I get calls from a lot of owners who are struggling in some area of their life with their dog.

"I keep going to the dog park and my dog is having problems"

"I keep letting my dog off leash and they don't listen"

"I keep having people over and my dog always jumps on them"

I feel like a big part of my job is saying things that people respond to with "oh, that seems so obvious now that you've said it." Here is my gift to you: if it isn't working, stop doing it. 

If I keep having a problem it's a sign that I have over-faced my dog and I need to step back, regroup and re-approach. It's not enough to stop doing the thing (which you should, for now, if you keep getting the same bad result). In order to change the outcome, you need to address the underlying causes outside of the high intensity situation.

That's where a good trainer comes in! While you are researching trainers or waiting for your appointment, stop doing the troublesome activity or avoid the tough situation. I love to advise my clients on what changes they can make in their behavior and the way they relate to their dog that will have exponential effects on the way that their dog views the world and conducts themselves in it. 

For now, if it ain't working, it’s best to take a break (and get a trainer on the phone!).